When You're In A Co-Dependent Relationship

You mentioned codependency and enabling in a recent tiktok. I think I relate to being a bit of an enabler but I’m trying to work on that. How do I stop being codependent in all my relationships (romantic and friendships)?

Becoming an enabler often starts with our primary caregiver. More specifically, a primary caregiver that either assumes the role of the child in the dynamic or is otherwise not emotionally/physically available due to their own unresolved trauma, mental illness, or substance abuse.

An example would be when a child does whatever they can to avoid making their primary caregiver angry because their primary caregiver has poor emotional regulation and lashes out. This could involve something as simple as playing with their toys too loudly or any other innocent behavior typically associated with being a kid. By staying hyper-vigilant, the child then becomes an enabler (of sorts) to their primary caregiver.