When Should You Give Someone A Second Chance?
There's one thing they must do if the want to try again.
I’ve recently started connecting with a guy who I dated for a short time in the summer. He is coming on strong saying things like he can’t wait to hold my hand/cuddle. Tells me how much he likes me and how he’s glad I’ve given him a second chance. I don’t know if I’m just being overprotective but I feel like he is trying to love bomb me. Thanks for the help!
Before you let this guy back in, I suggest asking him why things didn’t work out the first time. Why was he so willing to let you go if he thinks you’re so amazing (and you probably are)? Make it make sense, sir.
I don’t believe in second chances of this kind. To me, this reeks of laziness. He wants the companionship and intimacy a relationship provides but doesn’t want to work to develop that with someone. Rather, he’ll go back to a woman with whom he already shares a foundation of intimacy and familiarity. That way, he can get sex quicker. He’s not hiding that fact, either. By admitting his eagerness to be affectionate with you, he’s admitting it, although indirectly.
Whether or not he’s love bombing is not something I can say with certainty. To me, it appears as though he’s trying too hard to get back in your good graces. That would make me uncomfortable. That behavior is indicative of someone who knows they did something wrong. Acknowledging that is only the first step. If he truly wants absolution, he needs to address what he did and show you he knows it was hurtful. I wouldn’t risk further disappointment without making sure he completes this crucial step. You want to see that he’s capable of being accountable and introspective.
Anybody can say they are sorry. Few people mean it.
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Ugh. This is so suss. I wouldn't let someone like that back into my life. If you do hang out, stay in public places and do not go anywhere private. Reply to his cuddling remarks with statements like "That's so sweet to hear," or "it's nice getting a chance to know you better" in a kind tone but with no follow-up effort of your own. You will be able to gauge his real intentions soon.
I've always learned that when something doesn't feel right, my intuition is telling me to be extra cautious. Never ignore and look into it. Getting advice on this was a good idea. 👍