Signs He Will Never Commit
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My question is how do ask the guy I am chatting with for almost 3 months now if he would want to be exclusive in the context of a relationship? He and I matched in Bumble when he was visiting his brother who lives in my town. He lives in Toronto while I live in British Columbia (both in Canada :)) I followed your advice to use statements only. So on the first month we were chatting which eventually evolved to calling, I made clear to him that I am seeking a relationship. His only reply to that is "I know."
I did not bring it up again for the risk of sounding like a broken record. We still continually text and call almost on a daily basis. At my end, I feel like cheating if I am going to start dating others again so I don't date others. But then I am not sure what he thinks about our connection.
How do I bring this topic up? I understand that it is potentially going to be a long distance relationship, but both our professions are in demand in both our places, so any of us can move without the repercussions of ending up unemployed.
I made clear to him that I am seeking a relationship. His only reply to that is "I know."
The clarification you seek is in his response. “I know” is not an answer. It’s a way for him to engage in the conversation without saying anything that could be used against him later.
Nobody who is available and interested enough is letting two months go by without making some kind of declaration of affection. They’re certainly not letting that amount of time go by without spending some significant time with you. (From what you wrote, it sounds like you and this man haven’t met yet.)
The Statements Only Approach (TM because fuck this hardballing nonsense) only works if you’re prepared to walk if you don’t get an answer that adequately states the other person’s intentions. “I know” does not count in this context.
You’re thinking about the logistics. Is he? Has he brought up anything about how this relationship would work should you make it legit? Or is he just sort of passively agreeing with you or going along with what you say? If it’s the latter well…
Molly. You in danger, girl.
I did not bring it up again for the risk of sounding like a broken record.
One red flag never to overlook is if you feel you must make yourself smaller in some way to avoid rocking the boat. Be a broken record. Who cares? This is your time being occupied by this guy. You can bring it up as much as you’d like. If he makes you feel like you’re being a pest for circling back, he’s not the one. He wants you to feel uncomfortable initiating this conversation so he can avoid having it and reap the benefits for as long as possible.
At my end, I feel like cheating if I am going to start dating others again so I don't date others.
This is why we say arrangements such as these benefit men exponentially more than women. Women feel guilty for keeping their options open because we’ve been conditioned to believe entertaining more than one man makes us promiscuous. You’re not cheating because you and this guy are not exclusive. Your priority right now is not this man’s feelings. It’s valuing your time. You come first here. Not him.
Someone who wants to be with you will do what they can to make you feel comfortable and confident in the direction of the relationship.



