I hope you find these Nuggets relatable and empowering. They’re meant to reassure those currently dating or single-by-choice that they’re not alone and their lives are valid. Nuggets are published on Mondays and Wednesdays. Full-length episodes are posted on Fridays. If you’d like to hear more, please consider subscribing for $4 monthly. Your subscription will include three weekly episodes and the ability to comment and interact with others on each post.
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Nugget #1 (I went back and can’t find the post. I think they deleted it.)
In this Nugget, we discuss a post from a woman lamenting over the fact that she keeps meeting men who, at first, seem incredible. Eventually, their flaws show themselves, and she’s no longer interested. This could be a result of what’s known as negativity bias.
Our negativity bias exists for a reason: To protect us. So the goal shouldn’t be to do away with it. If you walk past a dark alley and see a stranger holding a knife, you don’t want to tell yourself, “Oh, don’t be so suspicious! Not everybody has bad intentions.”
Be suspicious! People in dark alleys holding knives almost always have bad intentions!
You don’t have to reframe every negative situation as a positive. That’s the definition of toxic positivity. A better solution is to seek out and give more attention to things that make us feel good as often as possible to counteract the negativity. I talk about more ways to help change your perception in the episode.
This video demonstrates how what we focus on can close our eyes to what else is happening before us.
Nugget #2
A woman wants to know how to protect her self-esteem when today’s dating feels like one disappointment after another.
I’m not sure it’s possible to avoid disappointment entirely. Most people lack self-awareness and don’t know what they don’t know until they know it. In the episode, I give some tips on how to screen for time wasters.
