I Left Last Night's Support Session In Tears
Don't worry. They were happy tears.
I closed out of last night’s group support Zoom session in tears. The grief I carry for losing my sister last year, not being able to say goodbye to Daisy, and the looming loss of Luca is heavy on my heart. (Note: Luca is okay. I’m speaking of her eventual loss. Someday. Not today or tomorrow, or even next month.)
Tuesday, Feb 21st, will be a Plus-Sized Dating specialty group support session for exclusive members.
Pancho celebrates his 17th birthday this month. I haven’t spoken publicly about how I came to care for him long-term. His owners appear to have split. The mom moved to a building that doesn’t allow pets, so his Dad took him in. Unfortunately, he travels 20+ days a month for his job. After caring for him for a week in November, his Dad asked me to take him long-term. In return, he pays me a flat fee, and still try to see him. His sister, their daughter, checks in regularly and plans a birthday party for him. But he’s 17. Anyone with a pet knows the decline can happen out of nowhere. I’m bracing myself for the day he stops eating. For now, though, he’s still as sassy as ever.
I’ve decided I want to seek certification in Canine Behavior and Training. Nan, one of the support group members, has sent me many referrals and information about which programs might work best. I’m going to seek behavior certification and then training certification.
I want to write a fiction novel so severely but can never seem to maintain enough energy and concentration. I’ll get to a paragraph and struggle to find the right words, then chastise myself for not being good enough to write one sentence, let alone a whole story. So I stop. I suppose there’s something to the fact that while I might abandon my writing, I always return to it. Stopping and quitting are two different things. I need to remember that.
Listen To Week’s Podcast.
Sarah and I discuss why abusers are drawn to strong women and the difference between anxious attachment and being triggered by a f*ckboy.
As an avoidant, I’m hyper-sufficient. I’m always uneasy asking someone to listen to me for fear of being shunned or considered a burden. It’s a draining way to live. Being able to host the support sessions makes me feel part of a community. Just being there lightens my emotional load. I’m grateful for the sessions and that people have a space they can come to open up. There’s power in telling our stories. It makes us feel less alone. Less confused. More in control.
I urge anybody who seeks camaraderie and intelligent insight to join us at the next one.
Thursday, Feb 28th, is our next Dating Support & Advice Zoom Session.
If you’re interested in joining these sessions, become an exclusive subscriber. Your $7 subscription will also include:
Weekly full length-podcast episodes
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Free admission to 3-4 dating support group Zoom sessions a month. Our next session for exclusive subscribers is tomorrow, February 16th.
Ok, licensed social worker and client here. Thank you always for your vulnerability and showing up. I’m going to avoid cliché stuff. COVID screwed up everything and has set us on a path that we never were exposed to before. My cousin recently died from a rare cancer that she was diagnosed with a year ago. The grief of life is overwhelming. Just breathing is overwhelming. Give yourself grace. What topic of fiction do you want to write? What is it that you want to put out there in book form? I feel I lost my ability to put together a grammatical correct sentence. Obviously something in you wants to come out. You do so much for others and for the dogs, that maybe you need to “be”. I appreciate you so much. Your wisdom, truth and being straightforward. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. There have been dark days and I’m just letting go. Yes, I want to be in a loving relationship with a great man. I also have to accept that it may never happen. But I’ll continue to show up in my life because there are great people here