Dating App Scam or First Date Fail?
A woman tells a man she just met she's facing eviction and needs $2000. He still goes out with her. How could this possibly go wrong?
Okay, Bog Witches/Warlocks/Theys...
We're deconstructing the latest TikTok dating Drama. This time, our story takes place in Salt Lake City, Utah. Our main characters, Bre Powers and DJ Searcy, met through a Mormon dating app. Please note that I said through the app, not on the app. That's an important distinction that will be explained in a bit.
Bre's dating profile listed her phone number in the bio section—red flag #1. DJ sent her a text without matching with her, telling her he was "very interested" in her. He then offers to let her whiten his teeth—a $200 service—and says they can go on a date if she likes him.
Her response to his initial message was that she was being evicted and needed $2,000. That's it. No hello, no pleasantries, no small talk. You can see the entire text exchange here.
That sounds like a low amount to be evicted, but then I live in NYC. That's a quarter to half a month's rent for studio apartments. Methinks Bre was looking for some quick cash and thought she'd rope in some suckers on a dating app to get it.
The next day, Bre messages him and asks if he'd like to come to her salon that evening for the whitening service. He tells her he's just getting off work and will be there in 25-30 minutes. He asks her to drop him a pin where he might park. She does.
He arrives at her salon thirty minutes later but needs help finding parking. He texts her and asks if she can check outside to see if any street spots have opened. She explained she had another appointment after his and that she thought he was playing games. He parks illegally in front of her salon and goes inside. She accuses him of wasting her time because she told him he could park at The Megaplex across the street. He said she didn't tell him that. She did. That was the pin location she provided.
She then demands he pay the $100 cancellation fee. He refuses. Fuckery ensues. She tries to Tiktok cancel him. It blows up in her face.
As is usually the case with these scenarios, I'm #TeamNobody.
If you research this viral story, you'll quickly realize Bre appears deeply unwell. Her disproportionate reaction to his cancellation raises alarm bells. It's reminiscent of the men who get rejected for a second date and send Venmo requests for thirty-two dollars to cover the tacos and beers.
That doesn't mean he wasn't wrong. Let's circle back.
He circumvented the app. - Bre and DJ didn't match on the dating platform. He saw her profile, but it's unclear if she saw his. Also not known is whether her number was posted in Bre's profile intentionally or unknowingly. Either way, he shouldn't have been contacting her off the app.
He didn't disclose that he was no longer part of the Mormon Church. - In one of his videos, he confessed that he had stated in his profile that he had moved away from the church. That's great. The problem is that she never saw his profile. He saw hers, but she didn't see his. When you use a denominational-based app like Mutual (for Mormon singles) it's reasonable to assume anyone from that app practices that faith.
He offers her money in the hopes she'll go on a date with him. - Call it whatever you like. Suggesting she whiten his teeth in the hopes she'll go out with him is weird. He admits in one of his Tiktoks he only offered to let her whiten his teeth in the hopes of "getting his foot in the door" for a date.
He doesn't cut things off when she explicitly tells him she needs financial assistance. - The only men who would proceed in a situation like that are desperate or deceptive. As far as he knew, she was in a vulnerable state of mind. One might wonder if he was hoping to exploit her vulnerability to his benefit.
He displayed weaponized incompetence. Sir, you suggested this meet-up. It's your responsibility to figure out where to park your car. Not only did she pin him where to look, but she also drew a little diagram for him. Remember. He was showing up at her place of business. He had no idea if she was with a client or working on something. He had no problem asking her to stop whatever she was doing to look out the window to see if a spot had opened.
To be clear, I believe Bre suffers from some serious mental health issues. I am not defending her behavior. The point of this post is to highlight how men's bad behavior often gets overshadowed when there's a "crazy" woman involved.
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this. Am I being too hard on DJ? Do you think this was a scam Bre created to get quick cash?
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Agree with you - #TeamNobody. He was really wrong to package together 'I will be a client first then we can talk dating'. If you meet a girl on a dating app, keep it to dating unless both of you agree there is no future. From the start - is he a client or a romantic interest?
Some time on her TikTok, - I REALLY want to see this Ex that she can't get over. He is never far from her thoughts.
For both of them - there is 'other' drama on their pages (him with the military, her with men other than this guy). Rule of thumb - if drama follows you around, you are the common element.