Is She Anxiously Attached, Or Is He Just A Dick?

Of course, the men in the comments are telling this woman she’s anxiously attached and to give the guy some space.

No.

She’s reacting to a change in pattern. That’s normal. That’s what our brains are wired to do. It’s not an indication of insecurity or clinginess or whatever stupid excuse the men in the comments can conjure up. A change in pattern could be a sign of potential danger. That’s why our brain goes on high alert. She’s not being ‘crazy”, she’s responding to stimuli.

The man in question participated in the creation of this pattern. He was answering and sending texts. He was communicating his interest in writing and in person. I don’t care what anybody says, unless they work a job where they’re required to be away from their phone, someone with a genuine romantic interest will respond in a timely manner. Maybe not right away. Maybe not in an hour. But certainly by the end of the typical workday. A few hours after their date, he sent her a text asking if she’d like to see her again. She responded that same night and said yes. Now it’s about 24 hours later, and he’s yet to respond.

This wasn’t a simple check-in message or a random GIF that he sent. He explicitly asked if she’d be interested in another date. When he read her answer, he knew she’d be anticipating a response. Let’s not be obtuse. Her confusion is a reaction to his inconsistency. Her intuition is telling her something is off, because something is off. Whether that shift is negative remains to be determined.

Listen to the latest episode for my full response.

Situationship Advice Needed

Here’s another case of a man making an abrupt change from the baseline he helped establish and expecting the woman to read his mind and move on.

Listen to the latest episode for my full response.

Subscriber-Only Video - Toxic Friends: What’s Your Breaking Point?

Make sure you’re a subscriber so you can listen to this week’s subscriber-only episode about toxic friendships. A real-life Miranda wants to know how to deal with her drama-addicted and male-centered friend. Carrie Bradshaw, is that you? After I answer the letter, I talk about the signs you’re in a toxic friendship and role-play a conversation you can have that might help you save the friendship.

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Your Moment Of Luna

Listen to a teaser of the full episode:

In this subscriber episode, I’m breaking down Danielle Walter’s viral proposal and engagement content, not to be snarky, but to actually analyze what we’re seeing and what we’re not seeing. Because once you strip away the aesthetics, the timeline, and the curated moments, some patterns here are hard to ignore.

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Watch the proposal video here:

“Will you be my bride, my baby?”

This man can record two and three-minute “motivational videos” and post them on Instagram, but when it comes to his proposal, he manages only seven words. Are the rest on the cutting room floor? I get into the other verbal and behavioral red flags I noticed in this week’s subscriber-only episode.

These are two of the biggest red flags I talk about:

First, abandoning your own standards. My long-time followers have heard me say that there is no point in setting standards if you’re going to arbitrarily lower them. One piece of advice that propelled Danielle's platform was to differentiate between genuine attraction and anxious attachment.

@gabrielle_bethAs someone who has been there, this is hard to watch…. #daniellewalter #limerence #lovebombing

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Girl, what?

When someone overrides their own boundaries like this, it usually means something deeper is being triggered. When we think of our anxious or avoidant attachment being triggered, we typically assume that means we’re reacting to something negative. Not necessarily. In the early days of their relationship, Danielle frequently commented on Lucas’ ability to follow through on his word. I imagine that kind of stability is very appealing to someone prone to anxious thinking. But is it genuine or performative?

The other red flag never to be ignored is making yourself smaller. Literally or figuratively. Whether it’s how you show up, how you speak, or how much space you take up in the relationship, that shift is never random. If you find yourself trying not to be “too much” or toning down part of your personality to please someone, it’s a sign that the dynamic isn’t balanced.

In a video she recorded while getting ready for the proposal, she said she forgot the shoes she was going to wear with the dress. Ma’am. No, you did not. You did not walk through the hotel lobby without shoes on. Or maybe she did? I don’t know. In one engagement photo I saw, Danielle had her feet pretty much buried in the sand so she wouldn’t be taller than Lucas. I don’t think that was for his benefit. Danielle is obsessed with controlling the optics of this relationship. She focuses heavily on curating the relationship so it’s perceived in a certain way. Unfortunately, most of her attempts have succeeded in making people wonder what the real story is behind the speedy engagement and mysterious not-a-wedding-dress-but-kinda-is white dress she wore to her engagement party.

Which reminds me…

It was impossible not to notice Danielle had only one friend present for the celebration. That same friend referred to Danielle as “the bride” and Lucas as “the groom” at different points. To me, this felt like an intentional breadcrumb meant to make people wonder if Danielle and Lucas didn’t just get engaged that evening, but were married. If true, that will only fuel the green card rumors.

You can listen to the episode to hear the rest of my thoughts on the content. I also get into distancing language, performative intimacy, and why not using someone’s name can point to a lack of emotional depth. And then there’s the question of why someone would be completely comfortable being dragged online instead of pulling back like most people naturally would.

This isn’t just about one influencer relationship. It’s about learning how to read behavior in real time so you can protect yourself in your own life.

Because the red flags are almost always there early.

You just have to know what you’re looking at.

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In this episode, I break down why men relate to Will, how avoidant attachment shows up in straight single men on dating apps, and why emotional unavailability keeps getting mistaken for depth.

We’re talking fear of vulnerability, mixed signals, and what happens when someone doesn’t know how to process emotion so it comes out as sarcasm, shutdowns, or sudden anger.

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⁠Rom&nd’s Volume Hack Trio

🛍️ COMFORT, BEAUTY & FEEL GOOD FINDS My Amazon storefront is a mix of comfort items, low-effort beauty, wind-down favorites, and everyday essentials I actually use. Nothing complicated or expensive. Just things that make hard days softer and good days even better. ⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/mycharacteranalysis⁠

🧴GET GLASSY, GLOWING SKIN These products are what I use to help create that luminous, glassy skin look and a fresher complexion without harsh chemicals, aggressive peels, or high-end price tags. https://www.amazon.com/shop/mycharacteranalysis/list/2RO4OPO3RS81N?ref_=aipsflist

Sarah and I sit down with Brit—an autism specialist with 15+ years of experience—to talk about dating while neurodivergent. We get into why loud bars feel like boss levels, why texting back takes a whole strategy session, and how to say “I need five minutes outside” without making your date your caretaker.

We cover rejection sensitive dysphoria, limerence, sensory overload, social cue confusion, and the dreaded online-dating tone problem. Plus: practical scripts, when to disclose, how to repair after a miss, and why burnout isn’t a personality flaw.

Whether you’re ND or dating someone who is, you’ll walk away with tools, translations, and fewer mixed messages.

Listen for:

• A simple plan for handling overstimulation on dates—without making the other person your caretaker.

• How to tell the difference between trauma-driven oversharing and ND-style info-dumps (and what to do next).

• RSD realities, patriarchal anger myths, and why “no” isn’t a personal referendum.

• Text-back triage, object permanence, and the one apology + follow-through formula that actually helps.

Noise measuring apps:

If you’ve ever wished you could know how loud a spot is before walking in, you’re not alone. Two apps worth checking out are Decibel X, which turns your phone into a sound meter so you can measure noise levels on the fly, and SoundPrint, a crowdsourced guide to restaurants and bars that tells you just how ear-splitting (or blissfully quiet) a place really is.

• Decibel X (iOS): https://apps.apple.com/us/app/decibel-x-db-sound-level-meter/id448155923 Apple

• Decibel X (Android): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.skypaw.decibel Google Play

• SoundPrint (iOS): https://apps.apple.com/us/app/soundprint-find-a-quiet-place/id971189322 Apple

• SoundPrint (Android): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.soundprint

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👀 Got a dating dilemma? A ghosting mystery? An “is-it-me-or-is-he-just-delusional?” situation? Send it in!

We’re answering listener questions on the pod, and we want yours. Whether it’s a green flag you’re second-guessing , a walking ick 🥴, or a text you need decoded —spill it. We’ve got thoughts. Probably too many. 😏 Submit your dating questions here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.